The Wounds of Her Heart
by C its personal
Summary: Kagome witnesses something horrible, and is unable to stop it. Now full of regret she returns home. She loved him...Is he really gone forever? May seem KikxInu at first...
1. Part 1

A sadish, emoish thing (at first) that I wrote out of pure boredom. I don't own Inuyasha, or Kagome's OOCness please don't kill me...the flashback is kind of similier to episode 154, just with what they say,and some of their actions...Btw: Shes wearing her short sleeved uniform.

She is seen running through the forest, and you can hear her muffled sobs. Her long dark hair, blows in the wind behind her. She is tripping over various things, because her eyes are blinded by tears. She reaches a clearing and continues running toward a well. You do not know what, or who she is running from. She sits on the edge and screams "WHY, WHY INUYASHA! HOW COULD YOU!!" Then she jumps into the well and disappears from view.

**...Change in P.O.V...**

I jumped into the Bone Eaters Well. I was greeted, with the floating like feel of going five hundred years into the furture. I let my mind race with thoughts as the lights engulfed my body. _No, No..NO this..its not true..he didn't...I had seen her try to do it before...but now..._ I was pulled out of my thoughts as I once again felt ground beneath my feet. I looked around in the darkness and found the rope, I used to pull myself up with. I sat on the edge of the well, my head in my hands sobbing. I tried, but I couldn't stop the tears from falling. I didn't think my life could get any worse. But then I heard my mother's voice..."Kagome?"

_Oh no..._

_I..I can't let her see me like this! S-she'll wanna know what happened..and..NO!! I..I got to do something! _I quickly grabbed some dirt from the ground, and rubbed it on my legs and face. I began to worry as I could here my mom's voice getting closer..."KAGOME!?" I squinted my eyes in the darkness, until they caught a glimmer of light. There was broken glass in the corner, I hesitantly got up and walked toward it. I really didn't want to hurt myself but...I needed to make this look believable!

My shaky hands grabbed a piece of glass. I slowly bought it to my arm, stopping about a centimeter away from the skin. Her voice neared closer to the door. I applied pressure and felt the blade as it puntured my skin. The wound I inflicted upon my self, began to drip crimson liquid. The tears came again as I winced, but this time it was pure physical pain. I knew I shouldn't be doing this but...I knew I needed more than one cut...I once again put the glass, now covered in my blood, up to my other arm. This time I quickly swiped the sharp edge against my skin, hoping it would hurt less. _It didn't..._

I bit my lip so hard to keep from screaming, that it almost bled. I tried to think of something pleasant while I continued, but all I could think about was him, all the cruel things he said, and now leaving me _forever_. It wasn't just thoughts, it was playing like a movie, over and over again in my mind.

_**Flashback..**_

_She watched from the Scared tree as he followed the soul collectors. She already knew where, and who they were taking him to. Sighing, she climbed down the tree, and began secretly follow. Running through the forest, out of his sight she used the glimpses of his red haori as her guide. Once he had stopped she concealed herself behind a tree and watched. Kikyou was leaning against the tree, obviously in pain from her last encounter with Naraku. She watched as Kikyou got up, and he was immediately at her side. He kneeled down in front of her, and held her shoulders._

_"What are you doing?! You aren't completely healed yet!"_

_"I-I'm fine, let go..."_

_"No Kikyou..I can't let you go after Naraku! He'll kill you easily in your condition!"_

_"I am not meant to be here Inuyasha. I have lived and died, I am nothing but soil and bones.." "It is no longer threating to me that he may kill me..I do not belong in this world..."_

_"Kikyou don't, don't say those things!"_

_"Why not, I know that you no longer care for me" "I see how my reincarnation has healed the wounds of your heart...I know that you have developed feelings for her..."_

_He couldn't help growl that came from his throat. He tightened his hold on her shoulders in frustration._

_"DAMN IT KIKYOU LISTEN TO ME! I DON'T HAVE FEELINGS FOR KAGOME!" he paused and lowered his voice_

_Kagome gasped, and felt tears sting her eyes._

_"I've never loved her, she just travels with me, and senses jewel shards." "I've never loved anyone but you.." He said embracing her, Kikyou returned the embrace._

_She just stood behind the tree, watching them hold eachother. She wanted to leave, she knew she shouldn't be here. But she couldn't...her knees gave out on her, as she slumped down to the ground. Her face shining with the trails of newly shed tears. She just held onto the tree, and looked back over at them._

_"Kikyou, I love you...I am prepared to go into the depths of hell with you." "If that is your wish.."_

_Kikyou looked at him puzzled than, nodded. They both stood up and Kikyou embraced him once more. He winced as he felt her hands upon his back, digging into his soul. The ground beneath them opened up, a dark aura surounded them._

_"Stop..Kikyou I-I want to be...awake" He barely got the words out. He remembered her doing this before. At that time she had made him fall asleep. Well, not really asleep..more like a spell she put him under. One that caused him to loose consciousness._

_She watched in horror as the dark lights engulfed them. She desperatly wanted to stop it, she wanted to run out there and just stop it! She could yell his name, that worked last time. This time she wasn't trapped! She tried to open her mouth, but no sound came out. She wanted to scream, but only gasped. She was angry at Kikyou, at Inuyasha, at herself! When had she become so weak! _

_How could he...If, if she was only a jewel detector than why did he take care of her when she was sick?! Why did he get so goddamned jealous when Kouga touched her?! Why did he always tell her that he feared of loosing her? Wh-Why did he return their kiss at Kaguya's castle? If it was all a lie..._

_"HOW COULD YOU!" She screamed_

_She looked over, to see they had disappeared. The only evidence was the ring around the ground where they had stood. She could barely catch the trace of soul collectors vanishing. He went to hell with her...H-He's gone...Forever_

_"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"_

_**End Flashback..**_

I felt more tears stream down my face, as I looked down at my arms. They now had about ten cuts on both of them. My gaze landed upon my legs, I didn't leave them untouched. I figured I probably had more cuts there then my arms. I couldn't hear my mother anymore, she was the reason I did this..._No thats not right, it was me. I didn't want her to see me upset. I wanted to make it look like I was hurt, so I didn't need tell her what was wrong! I wanted to do this...I wanted to make wounds on my body, to hide the wounds in my heart._

_How could I be so, so stupid! I know that shes not the only reason I did this...it was him. He caused me this pain, he caused me to love him..._During my flashback I didn't even feel the pain anymore. Both my body and my heart were numb. It just began to feel so natural. I didn't feel guitly about it anymore, I had no regrets for causing myself pain. The way I saw it my life was already over...

I began to feel slightly light headed. I didn't think much about suicide, but at this point it didn't seem like I had a choice. Before I knew it the walls in the well house began to close in on me. I could feel my body swaying back and forth, the room was getting blurry. Then suddenly the doors burst open, filling the room with blinding light. I looked into the light and saw...Inuyasha? _No,no its not him, he's in hell with Kikyou. Its just a hallucination,... too much blood loss._ I thought. Darkness invaded my vision. But before I lost consciousness, I could have sworn I heard him yell my name. _What a cruel image to die with..._

A/N: Okay, before people kill me, I just wanna let you know its **NOT** the end...yep thats right theres a second part! Buuuuutttt in order for people to see it I need to know if people are interested in it. No, I'm not talking about reviews (though they would be greatly apprecaited) **Hits** yes hits, I just want to know that peoples are reading it, K? Maybe around 200, because my other two fics have around 400. Alrighty, and for those who are still gonna kill me...Just don't give up on it yet..I mean seriously! I'm not as cruel, as you think. The story will have a pleasant ending don't worry :)


	2. Part 2

Okay here it is...finally Part 2! I apologize for the long wait but three big things delayed this update...1. FINALS (note to self: NEVER try to write while studying again), 2. Parents, you'd think that being in Vegas for a week would satisfy them...Nooo they have to come home and play Online Poker almost all day! 3. Ending...yeah the ending never really came to me...but after rewriting it over and over...I'm finally happy with the outcome, and I hope that you are too :)

I don't own Inuyasha, Rumiko Takashi does, not me

Thoughts and flashbacks are in _Italics_, yep thats it I'm gonna stop ranting now enjoy Part 2 of Wounds of Her Heart!

I felt warm, I just felt this warm feeling that made me peaceful and at ease. It felt similar to traveling through the well, except there were no blue lights. This place was all white, no colors...just white. An endless abyss of white that for some reason was so...calming. I seemed to forget about everything. I forgot about him, I forgot about causing myself pain, my mind was clear. I had held no grudges, and just continued floating. Nothing was wrong, I could feel no pain, I was just so content. Everything seemed so...perfect. Then I felt something cold on my forehead. My body shivered from the change in temperature. Suddenly the peaceful feeling immediatly vanished..and I felt as if someone had me pinned to a tree. All the arrows were piercing my arms and legs, sending a huge wave of pain through my body. Yes, every individual cut I had caused on my body burned with immese pain. _And it hurt like hell..._

Though where I was now laying felt softer than the floor of the well house. I figured I was now laying in my bed, because I could feel the covers pulled up to my chin. Groaning I removed my hand from under the covers, and bought it to my forehead. I wanted to remove the offending object that caused me to come back to consciousness. Also _back to the pain I had left behind in that peaceful place..._ To my surprize I touched another hand holding a washcloth in place. Without opening my eyes I moved my own hand over it. Suddenly wincing and pulling back when I felt something sharp poke my finger. The hand still kept the washcloth in place as I slowly traced it's fingers. I stopped at the end, and I took a nail between my tumb and index finger. The nail was long and smooth, but there was a sharp point at the tip. _Almost like claws..._ My eyes flew open in shock, and I saw Inuyasha standing beside me looking concerned. _Oh great I'm still hallucinating...uggh why can't I have a better one at least...this is the **last **person I want to see right now...real or not!_

"Uggh go away you stupid hallucination!" I said shutting my eyes again

_Inuyasha _looked at me puzzled, and removed his hand from my forehead.

"What? Hallucination? What are you talking about Kagome?" he said his eyes narrowing

_Hmmm I didn't know hallucinations could talk...but thats NOT him...stupid mind._

"I know that the real Inuyasha is in hell with Kikyou..." I said under my breath

"Just go away! God how do you make hallucinations go away!?"

I began violently shaking my head back and forth with my eyes shut. When I opened them again he was still there, and looked at me like I was crazy. I quickly sat up, and let the washcloth slip off my forehead onto my lap. I pulled my knees up, and began I punch myself on the head._ Hopefully this will knock some sense into my brain._ I then felt him grab my wrist, preventing me from doing anymore damage. I winced as I felt my wounds break open under his hand.

"What are you doing Kagome!? Stop it!"

"I'm TRYING to make YOU go AWAY!!" I said pulling my wrist from his grasp. I kept my arm elevated not wanting to get any blood on my comforter. Yet when I looked at my arm it was already cleaned and bandaged. _Maybe it was...No, no what am I thinking...it was probably mom..._Then something dawned on me.

"Hey.. wait a minute how come I can feel you if your a hallucination?"

"BECAUSE I'M REAL BAKA!!"

"NO YOUR NOT!! THE REAL INUYASHA WENT TO HELL WITH KIKYOU!!" _O god I must sound like such an idiot right now...I'm yelling to myself..._

I looked over at him, he was now sitting on the floor looking down at his feet. His dog ears drooped down flat against his head, he looked really upset.

"Y-Y-You s-saw that..." he said sadly. _Wow my hallucination can show emotions, arg__ue, and studder? I didn't know my mind could produce something so...life-like._

"I-I'm sorry you had to see that.." he said softly. _He's apologizing?...Ok that proves it..this is DEFINATELY not Inuyasha._

"I..um...I..." he didn't know what to say. He refused to make eye contact with me, and his eyes looked kind of shiny. Almost like...he was going to..cry? I started to feel bad, I..._Wait a minute..why do I feel bad? Its NOT HIM!! But..he looks so real..AHHHH! Why does my stupid mind have to do this to me!?_

"I went to see Kikyou..I decided that I wasn't going to see her anymore..."

"Wh-Wha-What?" _This isn't right..he's making an excuse...but it sounds so..Why is my heart beating so fast over something thats not real?_

"I-I knew that she didn't belong in this world...and I knew that I could do something t-to help her" "To, to take her to a better place, away from Naraku, everything that ever caused her pain...and me"

I saw him shallow hard, as if choking back his tears, before he continued. He slowly looked up at me, when our gazes met I felt like crying. His amber eyes held so much sadness and guilt. He looked so ashamed, and I could see a small tear attempt to escape his eye. _Even if he isn't real..how can he be so upset?_

"I tricked her..." he whispered

"Wh-What?"

"I TRICKED HER!" he yelled with tears flowing freely from his eyes.

"I-I MADE HER TRUST ME..I..I TOLD HER I WANTED TO GO TO HELL WITH HER!...but I didn't..."

"No, no, NO, NO!!" I yelled shaking my head furiously. I shut my eyes tightly to keep my own tears from falling.

"Kagome.." he said quietly

"NO, NO, S-STOP SAYING E-EVERYTHING I WANT TO HEAR!!" "T-THIS IS A CRUEL, SICK JOKE THAT MY MIND IS PLAYING ON ME!!" my voice cracked as the tears started flowing down my face.

He looked at me curiously then stood up, and began to walk toward me. My body started shaking, and I laid back down. I pulled the covers up, and curled up in a little ball, just hoping he would go away. I turned my face slightly and looked up at him standing over me. I saw a slight blush on his face. I make an 'eep' sound, quickly turned over, and faced the wall. He was so close I could feel his hot breath on my face.. I felt my cheeks heat up, and I nervously balled the comforter in my hands. _Gahh..this is so stupid, why am I blushing over this!? I began mentally slapping myself..Arggh, It's not real, it's not real, IT'S NOT REA- _my thoughts were stopped when I felt something pressed against my lips. I felt a wave of pleasure wash over me. But as soon as the sensation had started, it was gone. I slowly opened my eyes, and he stood beside me with a dark blush on his face. He was shyly staring at the floor avoiding eye contact. _H-He..he..h-he just..._

_KISSED ME!_

I just sat up in complete shock replaying what just happened in my mind. _H-how...w-why did he..it felt so..._

**Inuyasha's P.O.V**

I stood above her trembling form, she seemed to be in shock. She didn't say anything..just sat there, and kept her hand to her lips. I could feel the blush on my face from what I had just done. I also smiled a bit knowing I had enough courage to do that. But the smile quickly vanished as I recalled what had previously occurred...

**_Flashback..._**

_I-I can't believe, h-how c-could I..I-I.. those were the only thoughts running though his mind as he watched her disappear. Once the lights and smoke subsided, he looked over at where he had just stood. He hesitantly walked over to the spot. There was a dark ring permently imbedded in the ground around his feet. He quickly scanned his surroundings to make sure no one was watching. After he had comfirmed nobody was spying, he kneeled down inside the circle. He began to frantically dig at the ground. No...no, I..I can still reach her! he thought. He continued digging but only felt dirt beneath his claws. Once he had dug a good fifthteen feet below ground, he had lost all hope. Holding up his soiled hands, he slammed his body into the ground. He no longer had any control over his emotions, as his sobs were muffled by the earth. Wh-what WHAT HAVE I DONE!? H-How could I betray her like that! his mind screamed._

_He then suddenly caught the scent of his companions. He quickly sat up, and wiped the unwanted tears away with his sleeve. Oh crap..I can't let them see me like this! he thought. He took a whiff of the air. Good they're still far off..I can get outta here unseen._

_Then in one leap he jumped from the hole he had caused, into a tree nearby. He began traveling through the treetops, just trying to get away from everything._

_"Inuyasha?" a strong feminine voice called out_

_He went deadly still, and stopped in one of the trees. Another masculine voice followed._

_"Inuyasha?"_

_Then finally a high-pitched voice that belonged to a child._

_"INUYASHA?"_

_He groaned yet reamained still, they were on Kirara so they would easily see him in trees. He guessed his best bet for escaping unseen would be the ground. he jumped from the tree to the ground, and once both feet touched he took off running. He knew where he was going, he knew he could be alone there. No one else could go there except for Kagome. But he figured she was a part of the search party._

_He reached the well and jumped in without hesitation. Once he reached the other side, he reached the doors and stopped. I've never really been here without Kagome...he thought. Slowly he opened the doors, and carefully lept behind various shrines. He tried to keep his prensence hidden from her family. He was about to leap into the Sacred tree, when something caught his attendition. He had his back turned, but he could've sworn he saw the windows of the well house light up. Shrugging it off, he lept into the familiar tree. Once he was lying comfortably against it, he began to think. But he didn't just think, he got lost in his thoughts._

_How could I have done such a horrible thing..What was thinking..betraying her like that! Sure she had tried to do it to me many times, but...It wasn't right..No I can't blame her, it was Naraku, he's the one that caused our previous betrayal...He caused everything between us, and I swore I would destroy him. I swore I would protect her from him...and I did. I did protect her from him! By sending her away from this world I saved her...From him, and myself...Shes not in hell I know that, she was a priestess, she was always caring and kind...Even in death, when she walked the earth with a body made of graveyard soil..she still cared for the wounded. Though her soul was filled with her anger and hatred toward me...her hunger for revenge..Yet I feel that at some point she turned it all toward Naraku..Naraku, I will kill him, but not just for my revenge...for Kikyou. Also not just for the mistrust he caused between us. For the many times he had tried to kill her, For the times he used her to his advantage...The fact that he had feelings for her still disgusts me..._

_He sighed and leaned against the tree. He no longer thought, and just laid there, trying to clear his mind. He felt his eye lids become heavy, and was about to doze off in the tree. That is until the scent of copper graced his sensitive nose. It was blood, a lot of blood, and it wasn't just any blood. It was Kagome's._

_As fast as he could he was out of the tree. He stood beneath it looking around, trying to locate the source. His gaze landed upon the well house, where he heard a faint scream. He ran to the well house, and burst though the doors. What he saw...was completely unexpected. There sitting on the floor was Kagome, covered in large bloody gashes. She seemed to be losing consciousness, her body was swaying back and forth. But he caught her before she could hit the ground. He held her limp body in his arms, as he lightly shook her in attempt to wake her up. She didn't stir, and he instantly became worried. But he didn't fail to notice the pieces of glass covered in her blood. S-She did this to herself... he thought sadly. He gently picked her up bridal style, and made his way into the house. _

_Once he reached the doors, he looked though the glass, and sure enough no one was home. He freed one arm and opened the door. He laid her down on a small couch near the door. Towering over her, he held her bleeding hand in his. He kneeled down beside her, and moved a strand of hair from her face. But when he touched flesh he quickly brought his hand back, feeling like he had touched fire. Kagome has a fever, that can only mean that her wounds are becoming infected! he thought. He reluctantly left her side in search of medical supplies. But what seemed like only seconds later he returned with a first aid box. Kagome had showed him a long time ago where she kept her medical kit in case of emergency. In Inuyasha's mind this was definately an emergency! Sighing he began to remove the various items scattered throughout the small box. Once he set aside the items he recognized from when Kagome would tend to him, he got to work. _

_He first brought a cool cloth along the gashes, to cleanse them. The whole time he did this it felt awkward to him. Sure she had tended to him many times after battles yet...it became so natural to him. He never had to tend to Kagome like this. I guess it was because I would always protect her...but I can't protect her from herself... he thought sadly. Once he was done cleaning her, he gently wrapped gauze around her legs and arms. When he was done she looked like a mummy. He stood back up and sweat dropped at her appearence, Well at least shes not bleeding all over the place. he thought. He looked down at her, she was still unconscious. After deciding he should have her sleep on her bed instead of the couch, he picked her back up. __Slowly making his way through the house, he found the staircase. _

_He climbed up the stairs carefully, making sure that he didn't re-open her many self inflicted wounds. He reached the door of her bedroom, and flung it open to reveal her pale pink room. After laying her down on the bed, he took in a whiff of his favorite room. Everything smelled like Kagome. Giving off a content sigh he sat himself down on the bed at her feet. Leaning over her he felt her forehead once more. To his surprize she was still burning up! Pulling his hand away he left her once again. Yet returning to her in record time with a washcloth in hand..._

**_End Flashback.._**

**Kagome's P.O.V**

"I-In-Inuyasha!?" I said disbelieving

"Ughhh, do you finally believe me?"

_I can't believe it! Its really him! He didn't go to hell with Kikyou!! O my god, I, I would hug him right now if everything didn't hurt so much...H-he, he didn't leave me..._

I let out a small sigh of relief, as he walked closer to me. I smiled slightly and motioned for him to sit on my bed with me. Much to my surprize he didn't sit at my feet like he usually would. But rather right beside me, so close that our thighs were almost touching. I blushed a bit at our closeness. He must've noticed it because he immediatly scooted a bit farther away.

"So um Inuyasha.." I said still thinking I would never use his name again.

"Yeah?"

"H-How did I get up here?" _Wow thats a dumb question of course he must've brought me up here...but still I need to start some type of conversation..._

He looked at me funny. _Well that confirms that it was a dumb question..._

"I..uhh brought you up here." _obviously.._

"Did, you umm dress my wounds too?" _Another obvious question Kagome. I mentally slapped myself._

I saw a slight blush on his face, before he turned to hide it.

"Y-yes"

"Oh..."

_Ughhh why is this so awkward? I mean its not like everyday I think hes gone to hell, and I'll never see him again...But why can't I at least have a decent conversation...or at least one less awkward...right now_

"Kagome..."

"Huh..?" I looked at him surprized. _Okay guess I'll let him take over trying to start a conversation..._

"Why did you do that?"

"Do what..?"

"Don't be stupid you know what!" _Uh oh, looks like hes starting an arguement...oh well..I'm too tired to argue...He must be talking about my wounds...I can't let him know how they were really caused..._

"Oh these..." I said holding up my bandaged arms, and wincing

"Yes those.." he said crossing his arms, looking annoyed

"I..uh fell in a thorn bush.." he looked a little taken back, but then set an irritated look on his face

"Kagome don't lie to me.."

"I'm not!"

"Yes you are! I know you really caused those wounds yourself!!" _Wh-What? How does he know...can he tell if I'm lying or not by my scent? Well maybe I'm not TOO tired to agrue..._

"I'M NOT LYING!" I yelled. He stood up enraged, and kept his arms crossed

"DAMN IT KAGOME! DO YOU THINK I'M STUPID!? I SAW ALL THE GLASS AROUND YOU,**COVERED **IN **YOUR **BLOOD!" He emphasized covered and your, as if to prove his point. I was completely taken back by that..._Oh if he found me, he had to have seen the glass...wow, h-hes right...he might actually win an arguement for once._

He sighed and sat back down beside me. The anger completely vanished from his face. He no longer crossed his arms, but instead just kept them inside the sleeves of his hoari. He faced me with a look that made my heart melt. It looked similar to when he was telling me about Kikyou. Yet he now looked more thoughtful, and concerned.

"Kagome..I never want you to do that to yourself again...Y-You really scared me. I was afraid I would lose you..." I looked up at him, yet he hid his sorrowful eyes with his bangs.

"Inuyasha..."

"Promise me Kagome..promise me you'll never hurt yourself again."

"I promise.." I said as I scooted closer to him, and leaned into his shoulder. As if to emphasize my own point.

_Inuyasha...I never knew you were so concerned about me...I'm so sorry I scared you. But I love you, and now that Kikyou's gone, I'll wait until your heart has time to recover. Take as much time as you need before we try to start anything between us...And I hope that someday I can can gather up enough courage to finally..._

My thoughts were stopped as I felt an arm around my waist. My eyes got wide, as I felt him pull me in closer to him. Yet he went slowly, as if being careful of my wounds. Once we were as close as we could be, he just kept his arm around me contently. He rested his head against mine and sighed. I looked up at him timidly, this was so.. unlike him. He smiled, and gently kissed my forehead. My face flamed, yet he just chuckled a bit at my embarrassment.

_O-Okay...that was VERY unlike him! But I like this, this is nice...just sitting here being so close..._

_Hmmm...maybe his heart will recover faster then I thought.._

Okay thats it! Yep hope you liked it! I was originally gonna have them fall asleep, holding each other like that. But...it sounded too much like an ending I had recently read, so I changed it. But its done, and it has the happy ending like I promised :) Let me know what ya think via reviewing...only if ya want to though. I'm not gonna hunt you down and force you to if you don't...lol


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